September 23, 2014

Day 14:

I have never wanted to go back in the past so bad.
I have been thinking about my first love. It was my freshman year. He lives in Aurora. But anyway we used to talk on the phone for hours. and i remember i didn't want to tell my parents because he lived a ways away. But anyway we would text all day long while we were in school, and then we would be on the phone till Ten or Eleven at night. 
He always knew how to make me smile. How to make me laugh. and if I told him I wasn't smiling he would say "I can hear the smile on your face babe." He became my whole entire world. And then finally I told my dad and mom about him. And they took me to see him. Even though it was only for like 45 minutes it was worth it. I had written him this 10 page letter just of different stories about our future together. He was my future until he cheated on me...and broke my heart. He still to this day carries that letter in his wallet. I wrote it in purple pen, which at the time was my favorite color. I think I even drew some pictures of us in the letter. Haha. I remember I rewrote that letter like 10 times before I went to see him cause it had to be perfect. There could be no mistakes. 
Now he is just my best guy friend. I turn to him for everything. I think its because I can  tell him anything and he wont judge me. 
But every time we talk it makes me miss him even more. And honestly I really want him back...and i'm talking forever. I want to marry him. 
Too bad he wont talk to me at the moment... I guess love only lasts for forever with some people.